> flesh and fear and silence the heavy when i say to myself awaking in the middle of night -afternoon in asia- i am about to watch the wizard of the kremlin while thinking of amy eskridge - that is where my mind is (ferocious my over slides hood) well that and my hypnotic red kramer with its eye water decal, drastic? yes it all felt drastic as i pulled out a brand new shirt. level ten four way stretch made in china? that was days ago in order to make my way around town and pick up the bialetti cups being dealt out which i got and feel very happy about - they don't hardly remind me of lotta;s seventeen degrees and sun or ampersand sun story...many birthdays and many dreams but of the latter well there are holes - burroughs said it's full of holes, the boat meaning your body - sailing with melville it took me a third turn to find the irony of the leg mystery...my own left having suffered some in the past without cause yet when i see for example keifer getting shot, i sort of know what it feels like so maybe it's all education, brothers under fire but obviously this sort of thing can get outta hand. couture made me ponder deeply over the importance of finding a solution to what they here call mother's cancer. in astrology mine actually is...but i meant to delve into irony - i had previously viewed india's interview, a very casual affair with two croatian women wherein she mentioned the struggle she had with her mom in terms of that - so it felt like synchronicity...yet before any of that it seemed to me there was an allergic reaction to the new fabric -red back writer rash...i even dreamt that i was dressing and searching for the shirt in question - in times like these i calm myself thinking of the flesh eating virus movie but i could not help the vaccine concern or the possibilty of a toxin or poison...in another dream i opened the front door to find a tan old-timey office phone at the entrance - yet these door dreams seeem to me to emanate more from you dear readers browsing through previous notes... like today in a room i have yet to live in as a man was trying to enter i found then myself frantic at bolts and chain, another door but not entirely shut (- through silent, slow, roll, hearses bowels) aha three women, i only recall helena - i was with the other and then the other one - we were sleeping but they got up to get dressed before she adjusts her attire asking me how she looks - i look at her face, it's always about the face for me - and i mention her eyeliner is not right. i suppose they leave and it then gets romantic with the third girl, much taller than myself and will only let me play above the waist which is when the intruder made it all pause - i awoke thinking of keira and went back to sleep sensing that she was all right - (and with suddenly out speak bells poisonous— )next scene some men are intent on visiting (the feel us around people, the brains,) somehow i am in some sort of dune buggy (and our channels in the along trickles us) we stop at some resort like place and what seems to me too many men pack in like they are clowns and it's a volkswagon bug at the circus - water imprison that bars cold rains sister insisted on telling me the building had a water timer and i kept thinking how could anyone not know when there was no water - drop scattershot of spiders crawling the ceiling; but there are lies and then there are deceptions yet back to the dream, we navigate into a what seems to be a very rich estate - driving by a tennis court where some lady gets shot - after a few nervous circles we escape and i recognize the area...(When putrid against head its bumping and on walls grunge the along wings flapping feeble, feeling blow job or bullshit...)too many birthdays to tell - elsewhere i am with lotta who had been to sweden again that midnight hearing the forever song except it did not feel bitter sweet and in the scene we are in an ian hunter central park and west bed - no sheets although i did not see a bottle of wine and she was asking well no i was asking if i could go home with her - ragged and dirty i tell you they keep replaying the injection like a joke, my biceps were literally dusty! ( with bat of shadow the is Hope dungeon where muggy turned earth the night;) vivian rants about erika -lexi goes a bit too much into first world problems - what is it with me and bowie daughters? i dream argument where fred graffiti was years if you crossed 110th before amsterdam to saunter by cathedral or hospital and and ennui with moaning soul a sky covers low of lid when - refusing to use ubereats, pedidosya, or doordash, i find it difficult to order in terms of variety - i made pasta again but a bit too peppery and last night steak nearly perfect. weird charlie said you must always be drunken - nearing a good long while sober now i found it bizarre to dream having a bottle of beer lobbed at me which i caught left handed later seeing an indio email which i thought was about guitars but actually a south american ale. there's new merch at the "shop" wherein i thank keira for the mystic inspiration i felt when i took a minute to admire her art. weird charlie spent too much but he's gone now so we won't get rich from bubbles...maybe the itch is from they are going to kill you... taking the idea of demons cast into swine to extremes. let me weigh that timeline since burroughs said the answer comes before the question; white house correspondent's shindig, parrot overdose and nate's toe cut off in euphoric black magic attempt, i am presented a personification of the dream where lotta shoots her father except it is cinema; nevada started shaking worse than my now dead alcoholic uncle in the interim between waking and first drink of the day...the word of the day is exasperate...from the latin asper, name of the funeral home that put placed bradly ray tomsheck to rest. last week brt; bus rapid transit or board of revision of taxes...as far as i know the nazarene said the kingdom is both within you and beyond this world...when melville evaluates the 'savages' he concludes that the difference is down to one word although he uses two; "no money" he also only employs the word in other place. in other dream, i am certain of being upon a sea vessel, a vague sense of salt and a hint of sun - i think i was there with a woman, later i thought india or cindy yet i could not be certain - it was where the ale was lofted...i believe i was cradling crates into a stack...i remember thinking or feeling that i had been transported into this novel i am re-reading before the ending- i now think of william f buckley himself a sailor, when asked why he would cross the atlantic again he quipped; "The wedding night is never enough." what was i chasing here? only time will tell. Lachaise: I'm giving you the opportunity to walk out with the money, Mr. Bond. James Bond: I'm giving you the opportunity to walk out with your life. [ This block remains static on load. Use the [ ACCESS ARCHIVE ] button in the bottom left to view the complete living document. ]